msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- loose ideas it has sat there like a fucking watermelon seed in my gut. like for that summer i felt so young and reborn again, like a child, fresh sweat salt seawater delicious amazing food creations like i've never tasted before maybe that is when. in some beautiful house in the bush, cooking a sweet summer meal - a watermelon and mint salad. there. there you planted this seed that has grown into this constant heavy hanging-ness sitting in my gut is ripe, over-ripe, will rot. ---- with beautiful injections maybe i try to induce enough contractions to make me spit it out but insssstead they seem to f(r)ight(en) it away so i think maybe it was just phantom pains - tonight i notice that drinking a bottle of wine in an hour can feel a lot like having a shot of heroin (just slower, warmer, and a lot noisier) but it is good to recognise how just because one thing *kind of* feels like another does not make it even slightly the same thing. - maybe someone/thing will cut this big watermelon out. maybe instead it will get popped, like some giant, sturdy balloon. it is so sad though because given the chance, if i could lay this fruit, if we could crack its shell together there is such lovely pink sweetness waiting within, that i have grown that has come from ________ 8:13 p.m. - 2014-03-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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