msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- reckoning i baptism myself free into my own truths, undone of sin and dark wishes against my true heart i baptise myself with the water of my own well wishes, the clear kaleidoscopic crystal visions of my own parraelel existences, i free myself from the what ifs and the only if i had and the if only i was less this or if only i was more that they are all valid my hopes and dreams and my mourning for the things i don't get that i wish i had, wish i did, wish i would, the sadness is real, the relief is real, the hope is real, i wash myself of the guilt, its ok to be sad it's ok to not be sad it's ok to not be sad it's ok to not be sad but it's also ok to be sad. it's ok to be angry, it's ok to think I DESERVED MORE, YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER I WAS A CHILD i was a CHILD you should have done. better. and as an adult now im having to do better. it's ok to think i get the raw deal. in some ways i do. in some ways its true. i wash that away 10:37 p.m. - 2016-01-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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