msjessica's Diaryland Diary

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thank you naivety, for failing me again

what i hope for in a lover:

someone who knows the darkness in me.

someone who recognises my light, and my fight.

who is not afraid of my ambition, but understands that i don't always believe in it.

someone who is

-

as i start writing this, i almost weep because i feel like i could be writing out a list of things i love in that one.

maybe instead i should say

what i don't want, what i don't love.

-

don't make me feel the way my parents do. when i turn to you in regards to feeling pressure about my degree, my work, my life choices - feeling overwhelmed with the idea of living for other people instead of myself, don't YOU start *should-ing* all over me when you yourself are so defiant in the face of rules and restrictions.

be somewhat consistent in your behaviour. or at least,

no, scrap that. the inconsistencies teach me lessons. that i can be demanding and impatient.

-

i wonder if i'm being submissive or humble.

-

lover, be open. be raw. be as invested and willing to experience, to jump, to suffer and to celebrate as me.

meet me half way, pendulum swing with me right in to each others spaces, endeavour to envelope and experience both sides, to gender and soul swap with me.

9:22 p.m. - 2013-09-16

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