msjessica's Diaryland Diary

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-

I just

i had two coffees and then started drinking beer. 11:45am - 1:12pm.

three to four hours later and i guess i'm half way, three quarter way to drunk.

i have a job interview in the morning. i have a new house to be planning to move into.

i have an assignment due on wednesday.

i have shaking fingers.

i have a constant burning in my guts and most mornings I wake up and am very aware of the fact that i am constantly poisoning myself.

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i keep thinking

about turning twenty-seven this year.

about how i would go, if i did. how to minimise harm to others in the process.

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i keep thinking a lot about summer.

i miss being warm. i miss feeling so

beautiful, and enlivened. sunshine, ocean, sweat.

some things i remember so clearly, they make my fingers and my chest ache - very physical.

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i'm so sick of booze and cigarettes.

4:54 p.m. - 2013-06-03

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