msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i will be king, and you, you will be queen. Temporal lobe seizures. That's a new one. In the morning I thought "the next guy has a lot to compete with - who can be more than this" And in the evening I guess I - thoughts of us - our conversation - caused "the electrical activity in many brain cells to become abnormally synchronized" resulting in you having a temporal lobe seizure for the first time in 18 months. as a completely self obsessed and narcissistic being, it's hard to not take....pride/interest in this. and it happened again today. while you were stoned. i'd never been on the phone to someone 2 day stoned on smack and having a temporal lobe seizure before. have you ever noticed that "lobe" and "love" are only one letter apart - so if you were in a situation where you were continually writing the word "lobe" you would often mistype as "love" and i wonder if that's freudian or just plain because or maybe also because you say that you haven't had your love be so big in a while. and what does it matter anyway. - sometimes i think maybe i should give things a better shot. maybe i should learn to write. because thats what i do all the time anyway. and i have been reading memoirs (augusten burroughs) but then i remember here, this, and i think - if i could write, i would have. sometimes i feel like the fact that my fingernails match my toe nails match my sunglasses match my boots which are great complimentary colours to my skirt which is a great complementary colour to my t shirt which holds an emblem or symbol which demonstrates my free and individual thinking and in some way this demonstration of colour co-ordination demonstrates that i am a person worth speaking to, worth contributing time to...matters. Sometimes I feel like it matters. all of this is stripped away when i speak to one person who has temporal lobe epileptic seizures. all the world is stripped away. - it seems to be when we talk about not talking that his synapses fire like that. - 10:27 p.m. - 2013-02-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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