msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "i need you like blood needs a vein to get from one place to another" the friends married brother from forever ago - it's his birthday, he is drunk and probably sad, facebook messaging me from his ex-wife's house. i wonder if she is there, but absent - or if she is staying with her lover, the one she had for the last two years of their marriage... i am tempted to confess to him. confess that i've waited for my sister to go to bed before pouring some red wine into a coffee mug. red wine that's hidden in my cupboard, that i bought this afternoon and snuck home stashed in my shoulder bag. red wine from my dirty clothes basket, i fished it out from beside the two empty bottles of white. - i won't though. - he just offered me a place to crash in a couple of weeks after a concert. better than what i was planning.... - besides that i'm listening to nick cave because i'm seeing him soon, and 'the ass saw the angel' arrived today but i don't feel like reading so i need to get a nick fix somehow... i've decided to just deliberately fail one of my current uni units. i don't feel bad about it. i don't really feel bad about this sneaky drinking though perhaps i should. i think i have been feeling bad for making myself feel bad all the time.... - i'm maybe in love, with an eagle. with a junkie. with a beautiful vagrant, with a man whose soul is and/or belongs on an empty, endless road. if you fall in love with an eagle, you don't put it in a cage or clip its wings. i don't find myself wanting that cage either, perhaps I'm an eagle too. how nice to fly together for a time. 10:07 p.m. - 2013-01-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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