msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i'm not rich, i'm just nice hmm miss babe is picking me up in....20 minutes. I am all giddy and nervous. my lack of experience in this area totally embarrasses me. excites me a little. - i feel so completely shattered by the last two months. maybe by the last few years. i don't know who i am. i don't know what i offer to people, what i can offer in conversation or otherwise. hanging out lately with all these musicians, music students, whose WHOLE LIFE is about music.... I just don't have anything like that. i don't create. i don't have that....side? i am too...right brain i guess. - anyway, i don't want to go down that "i am not this, i am not that" line of thought.... it just makes me all.....why would this awesome person want to spend time with me?! but that is silly..... right? - i don't even know how these things start..... i am so nervous about comparing bodies, not being good enough it feels like things would be easier with a man because.... they are different. and it's easier to know what they like. i am not even 100% sure what pleases me half the time, how the fuck can i figure out what will please another woman?! gah 5:23 p.m. - 2012-03-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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