msjessica's Diaryland Diary

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i'm not rich, i'm just nice

hmm miss babe is picking me up in....20 minutes.

I am all giddy and nervous.

my lack of experience in this area totally embarrasses me. excites me a little.

-

i feel so completely shattered by the last two months.

maybe by the last few years.

i don't know who i am. i don't know what i offer to people, what i can offer in conversation or otherwise.

hanging out lately with all these musicians, music students, whose WHOLE LIFE is about music.... I just don't have anything like that.

i don't create. i don't have that....side? i am too...right brain i guess.

-

anyway, i don't want to go down that "i am not this, i am not that" line of thought....

it just makes me all.....why would this awesome person want to spend time with me?! but that is silly.....

right?

-

i don't even know how these things start..... i am so nervous about comparing bodies, not being good enough

it feels like things would be easier with a man because.... they are different. and it's easier to know what they like. i am not even 100% sure what pleases me half the time, how the fuck can i figure out what will please another woman?!

gah

5:23 p.m. - 2012-03-07

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