msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- james dean hmm first psychiatrist appointment this afternoon. pretty intense really. - she was super stylish, amazing crocodile ankle boots, all black mini dress, silver jewellery. judgemental stare. - i knew it would be about this. "what happened in your childhood?" i don't remember anything before I was about..10, maybe 12. About half my life. She says this is a sure sign of *something* I don't know what i think. - Apparently my option is "years of intense therapy". A commitment to never drinking or using drugs again. Until I make that decision, apparently there is nothing they can do for me. I don't want to be medicated, but she said "with all due respect, you're medicating yourself anyway" - I said I thought I was doing ok. She said 'well, look at your arms, look at your legs, you have stitches in your wrists and fresh scars on your thighs. I'd say you're not really managing on your own' Yeah. Fuck. She's good. - Speaking of stitches, they were meant to come out today but apparently aren't ready. 2 of them have snapped and i've pulled them out myself. I feel that reckless what-the-fuck feeing rising up, making me want to down shots and cut up. yeah, what the fuck? - this is some strange landscape 4:18 p.m. - 2012-02-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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