msjessica's Diaryland Diary

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This stuff with my mum. It destroys me.

I think what makes it worse it knowing how I've felt? I used to try to talk to her about things and she would admit that she couldn't fully relate or empathize. I want to take it from her. I know it, I've felt it, I have the..... I mean I drink or use or fuck or eat, I use things to cover it up. She has nothing. She's just raw, in it, right in it, she's forgotten everything she's been repeating to herself for decades about how to not feel things. Give it to me. Give it to me, please give it to me and give me her back, she was my safe place, she was always my oasis. Give it to me, I can take it.

2:22 a.m. - 2016-01-26

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