msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pink section i just had the kind of shot that makes your vision go blurry within a few seconds. lovely, and i guess what i'm after, but gosh - a little scary. the times i've dropped, that is how it started. those times there was someone else around though to... you know... put me in a shower and slap me in the face so i came back. i'm still upright and writing this though so i guess i'm fine, and i'll go easy for the rest of the night. - this is kind of funny because of how much i've been thinking of purposefully overdosing over the last few weeks. how ironic if it were to happen when i've started really consciously combatting that thought pattern. that's not what's happening - if it were, i wouldn't be writing this now, i'm sure. - i actually got a cash advance loan today to get this and also to pay some bills. a new low. ridiculous interest. i'll end up paying $140 on top of the $500 just for the convenience of not having to deal with myself so much or something. - it's good to feel scared. i'm actually happy, i think it really does show that i have turned some corner with that shit that was eating away at my brain. - the entry page on diary land has changed and it's making me feel weird. it's taken me like 15 minutes just to write this, i'm giving up on trying to put anything else into words for now 8:43 p.m. - 2014-10-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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