msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- queue jumpers haaaa hmmmmmm i am full of body sounds. at work i notice i stretch and sigh, moan - express discomfort, dissatisfaction, uncertainty, i don't know. - my body hurts often, my nose runs, etc etc, what you would expect. i dose almost begrudgingly. - i think a lot about how i wouldn't want people to see me walking down the street, how i wouldn't want people to know how i truly am, and i think why don't i just act all the time like people are going to know, like people will be seeing me. i am not invisible and i am not anonymous. it takes so much effort to be a real person i am obsessed with disappearing, i am delusional enough to think that people have not noticed me, do not smell me, do not see ~me~. the irony in this perhaps is that the more obsessed i have become, the more weight i gain, i am not invisible. i am not inconsequential, i DO take up space, i am present. - i am soul searching on these holidays and i'm not sure what for but i think that means it is certain that i will find it. 8:11 p.m. - 2014-09-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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