msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Goal Reality Options Will i have to do a performance review (although now my company calls them "achievement and development plans") next week and i'm struggling with it so i'm just going to use this forum to .... nut it out. i'm struggling with the structured form that i need to fill out to get all these thoughts down. my most important points (as a total side note - i've got THAT smell on me, that fucking opiate semi detox sweat and it's sad cos it turns me on as it brings back too many memories anywaaaaaay) i want to talk about how it's been a challenging transition into working so closely with someone else. i've never been in this situation before and it's highlighted for me how i have previously functioned much better as a single entity - the reason i can work so well "from home", away from my anxieties, perceived pressures, restraints, expectations etc. i sometimes find this closeness stifling. i've felt a little bit like things have been taken away from me - i don't have my space to create, explore, discover, learn at my own pace anymore. i feel the weight of someone else's eyes regardless of whether or not they are Actually on me. i do feel like there was extra responsibility put on me and i feel like i delivered. i feel like i have risen to the challenges laid out for me previously. i feel they are still things that i need to be conscious of, but still feel worthy of recognition of vast improvement. can't do this. ----------------- planets apart, these two worlds of mine. 9:26 p.m. - 2014-07-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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