msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i will in this business of oblivion, i am just an intern i am an understudy, i am the lowest, weakest, poorest at this - these days/daze of nothingness, i felt so satisfied by such lingering touch, such nothing expected, such nothing more to come from this touch, such i am at home here, such come live in my heart and pay no rent touch - long kisses how we learnt, i kiss every kiss that way now. that way that took us months to perfect, hours of talking and dissecting, practicing, opening up to one another about all of our other kisses, what works and what doesn't how we mastered it and would then bask in for hours every other kiss, i care less about the other person and more about my perfecting you are here and we kiss and it is perfection, you are my body that i am slipping back into you are the shedding of clothes, you are getting naked, you are letting down everything again - but then for me and before, for you it is cooking up, finding veins, all this dirty business that goes with feeling so complete - i am too sickened to write properly about this - tonight all i have is the left over desire what felt like such complete satisfaction, now feels incomplete and empty and i want any blank face and large man body to take up my space and send me just as far into black as that first easiest it's ever been drawing back blood, pushing in, send off into into into blinded, empty, wake me up naked in the shower slapping me in the face, send me into nothingness it's so beautiful 9:22 p.m. - 2014-07-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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