msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- talk is cheap my darlin so apparently now he wants to score tomorrow too, and my housemate, patron saint of lost love and heroin hook-ups has suggested since we are both copping from the same deal we ought to just hang out and get along. - kind of laughable, but predictable (in a way from which i get no satisfaction, in a way that brings to mind the image of a slaughtered and de-horned unicorn) - that other night when we were so HEIGHTENED hate and communication breakdown some glimpse i have is him saying emphatically he will NOT be using as she does not like it and he has risen above. sad for him that things are obviously not going so great as he had hoped but a nice leveller i guess, in some way. as much as it might be nice, as much as i still have all my same as ever desire just to breathe the same air, i wonder can i contain my contempt, his words echo in my mind "he is a parasite, that is his function". words he spoke about his soul brother. "you will not love her, until i have loved her" words from a film, about twins. - i wish my head could be like this always, this quiet and this detached. going into my third day of a consistent high this, the itching and stomach ache and every other danger and pain is worth, this is how i would have been born, if i could have chosen. 12:18 a.m. - 2014-04-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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