msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By the time I get the courage I am drunk and you are tired so in my time here I've spent a bit of time at this local pub - sitting on my own, drinking too many beers, writing sad shit in a notebook and watching people. one afternoon some people came and chatted with me - a young couple and the girls brother. We wound up staying until closing time, then going back to their place... getting rolling drunk. The brother is in the army, got back from Afghanistan late last year... nice enough, not my usual type but we ended up having a pretty violent make out session on the balcony anyway. it caused drama's for me all round. my beautiful heroin eyed boy was upset. Although he is a big believer in polyamory, he is not as.... well, promiscuous as me I guess and struggled with the idea of me being with someone else in the midst of our affair (although he was staying with another lover at the time - anyway, I digress..) I've seen this guy again twice in the last week. The first time was just drunkeness and very violent sex. Amazing, mind emptying sex with wooden spoons, choking and slapping that left bruises that are still visible on my ass and tits and around my neck. Awesome. On the weekend we actually....spent time together. Chatted, danced, played pool, drank not that much... It was nice. Found out he has two sons who are almost my age. We had sex again - great, satisfying, super hot sex that was actually not very violent. "I just want to treat you nicely" he says. - I'm not sure why I'm writing this out. It's just a kind of nice thing. Sometimes when we talk I have to... dumb stuff down. We won't be discussing any heavy topics, barely scratching the surface really, but it's nice and light and isn't going to ruin my heart or my brain. And it is really, really good sex. - Besides that I've just really been trying to ignore all that other stuff that's been going on. It all just feels too much, too heavy, too counterproductive, too painful. It shows through the cracks sometimes but I keep smoothing them over, getting through it. Yesterday I hardly thought of him at all. 11:58 a.m. - 2013-02-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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