msjessica's Diaryland Diary

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bananas

so tomorrow someone from the internet is coming up to visit. he's driving 6 hours.

i'm nervous for a couple of different reasons.

one is that i'm actually a bit scared of the potential intimacy of the whole thing. i haven't been...really, properly intimate with someone for a long time. obviously i've been with people, but no one who actually knew me or who i had a real personal connection with before getting into bed.

i don't actually know if i'm ready for it.

also, i think it will be a test in my....levels of superficiality. i'm not sure that this person really fits my usual mode of people i would be attracted to, but on an intellectual and personal level, i already find him very stimulating and engaging, intriguing. and so i am noticing that THAT is arousing. it will be interesting to see how i go with that face to face.

should be an interesting weekend anyway.

4:32 p.m. - 2012-06-28

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