msjessica's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i can't sleep. i haven't been taking meds to sleep for about the last week i guess. i feel better for it really. i had a coffee at 7pm so i could get some work finished. i need to study tomorrow and was hoping to get some things done today. i didn't get them finished, and now i can't sleep. if i take my meds now i'll sleep for too long and feel too groggy tomorrow. not sure if being underslept is better though. - went out on the weekend. got a bit munted. had a fun time really although i am quite aware of my reduced serotonin levels today. i was distracted earlier but of course the middle of the night, in the dark, on your own will really bring that shit out into the open. i don't know where my cat is. - i feel like a fucking idiot for some of the things i did on saturday night. just some of the things i said, being too honest as usual. silly. - i'm so empty and boring since all of this has happened. i just have nothing. - i don't know how to fix it. i think i'm kind of scared to. i still feel like this isn't really real life. like i'm just waiting for it to break again, waiting for something. all of my plans just kind of...vanished. i don't really know where i'm going anymore. - this is just all saying the same old tired stuff. i wish i could go to sleep. it's strange being in this old world, of scabs, secrets and self loathing. i feel so sixteen again, so ridiculous. 2:27 a.m. - 2012-02-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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